After
I came out of Sagar college, I went back
to my village and suffered from extreme
isolation. I felt dejected and continued in that state for quite some time. I began
writing letters to some of my friends and
their reply letters did something to assuage my loneliness. Meanwhile the entrance examination for
Silver jubilee college was announced. I applied for the entrance test which I
wrote in Guntur and there I could meet some of my Sagar friends . After we had
taken our examination, we went to hotel ‘Sankar
Vilas’ and took our lunch. At that time’ janata’ meal for two rupees had
been introduced. But the general impression was that the hoteliers would
sprinkle lime water to prevent the
customers from eating their bellyful. Then
my classmate Murali Krishna, other friends
and myself went to Police guest house in which Murali had been staying .
After resting there fro awhile we went back to our respective places.
After
getting qualified in the entrance examination my pedananna and
I went to Kurnool in a bus. We went to
the Silver jubille college hostel and there to Hari babu ’s room. After admission process was over, my Pedananna went back. Ragging was common in
those days and it was not as serious except occasionally as in the present days. It went on for a
while and once the fresher’s day had been over, both the seniors and
juniors mingled with one another freely
in a friendly manner. While in Sagar there had not been much interaction been
seniors and juniors, it was different in Kurnool.
There
the academic ambiance was bright and students vied with one another to excel in academics. For a few days after joining the college my
class mates and myself ,missed our lunch
in the hostel and went outside to escape
the rigours of ragging. But this was for a period only and later on everything
went well and we pursued academics seriously.
In
silver jubilee college, the students
experienced relatively better
freedom. There the students were in impressionable
age and meritorious teachers recruited
from various parts of the state imparted education in a committed manner. Though I joined in bachelor of commerce e
course there, the impact of language lecturers shad been more on me.
Somehow I developed aversion to commerce and in face I originally applied
for joining B.A. Course. Before applying I had to choose in my mind my
future profession and I compared IAS and
Chartered accountancy course and wrote examination for Commerce. After my
first semester in which I came first, I lost my academic interest in commerce
and became disturbed. But my interest in languages somehow exercised benevolent influence on my mind and
somehow I persisted with commerce till I took final examination in the final
year of graduation. The library there also made my stay endurable and I
developed a sound interest in reading books which persisted with me throughout my life. This had also
made me rather impractical in my real life about which I
nurtured a few regrets occasionally. But on the whole it can be said , I lived
as I wanted with the help of books and I owe to them a lot in terms of spending
my time vocationally and as an
avocation.
***
Although I started reading avidly in the college some
influential books , the teachers also influenced me a lot. Some of the books
which impressed me deeply were Bertrand Russell’s The conquest of Happiness ,Sri Sri ‘s
collected works , Jack London’ s Iron
Heel , Gorky’s Mother , Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov, John Red’s Ten Days That Shook
the World , Mulk Raj Anand’s Untouchable
and
many others . By the time I finished my graduation, I had read sixty
books in English and many more in
Telugu. While I was awaiting to meet an ophthalmologist, I recollected all
these books and felt happy. But still I couldn’t free myself from some sense of
inadequacy either then or even now. This
sense of incompleteness drove me hard to read more and more.
At Kurnool , my friends and I used to go to
the temple called Birla Mandir occasionally. But gradually my visits became
leas and less under the impact of Russell and also troubled feelings , I was
bereft of goals and lived with abstract
thoughts in my mind. I floated on the ideas and
felt disconnected with practical life. I had also premonition that I
would one day become revolutionary and live alone in a poor hut. Later when I
had actually pursued revolutionary politics , I had some vague guess that I would become a lecturer some day in future and teach well with my knowledge and experience.
This vague visualization had been there and it surprised me when at last I passed through turbulent
period and eventually ended up as a lecturer.
I didn’t have any clue how it would
happen but it happened at last and with much anguish, uncertainty
and trials and tribulations. I now feel
that I should claim no credit for this but some benign force guided my life
without damaging me irreparably. It
could have turned out quite differently but some how I trudged along my path with
self-searing doubts and self-searching nights and days.
In
Silver jubilee college our English Head
of the department Sri Rama Sharma used to
offer rationality, Sri Bhasha’s critical exposition , Sri Dowla’ sincerity, Sri Subramaynam’s beautiful rendering of
poetry, Sri MK Ramakrishnan’s eloquent and enthralling lectures on Shakespeare profoundly turned
my mind away from commerce once and for
all. They developed our critical thinking and literary sensibility a great
deal.
In
Telugu Sri Appajodu and Sachidanad were our teachers and they taught language
in a committed and powerful way. In those times Teachers were proficient in
both Telugu and English. I also remember that in the mock parliament Sri
Appajodu spoke in a stentorian voice in English.
When
it came to commerce, Sri Ramamurthy who taught us Mercantile Law, Prayaga Rao
who taught us accountancy , Sri Viswanadham who taught commercial geography ,
Sri Krishnaiah who talked harshly outside but kind inside and many other teachers
moulded the personality of the students.
We
also used to go to a lending library in the B camp and every evening and
borrowed novels of Ravi Sastry, Ranganayakamma, Yendamuri at the rate of fifty paise per day. The same
culture of lending library also nourished me a lot in Rajahmundry after my
graduation and before I joined post graduation..
***
While in Kurnool I remember my slow
transformation into a person with leanings towards Socialism. There a few
strikes also took place as a result of students’ demands for increase of
stipend and removal of semester system which put high pressure on students
leaving little room for preparation for competitive examinations. The cramming
dented students’ creativity and memory played a big role in getting marks. As a result students went on strike and fast.
This caused some anguish to lecturers and the principal who suspended a few
students. After initial fear on the part of the students, the situation deteriorated
and led to another strike which saw the revoking of the rustication of the
students. One negative result of the change into year end pattern of exam
became visible with some students dropping year end examinations and scoring
less marks than earlier. Later one of my juniors whom happened to meet me while
was doing MA in university found fault with us for depriving them of marks. I
replied that had been done to give more time to prepare for competitive
examinations and read general books. I saw two strikes in Sagar and two in
Kurnool and these could also be attribiuted to the general tendency of the
students of my generation who rebelled against what thee saw as real or imaginary
problems. There were also some petty
quarrels among students which spread negative air and polluted academic
ambiance to an extent.
We also started a manuscript magazine
called ‘young intellectual’ and a group
of twenty students actively participated in contributing to it regularly and
helping in various ways. In this I should mention Krishna Rao, Patnaik,
Venkateswarlu, Lakshmi Kanta Reddy, Dasari, Davuluri, Haq and many others who
came together due to their like-mindedness and zeal for doing something new.
The annual Magazine got appreciation from Sri Ramakrishnan who by that time, I
remember, became commissioner of
Higher education.
There once we also saw Smt. Indira Gandhi passing by our hostel
during her election campaign. On another occasion we went to the town to see
the stalwarts of the Janata Party who
came for a meeting. Somehow I felt myself favourable to the Janata party and developed dislike or dynastic politics of Mrs.
Gandhi. Our principal Ramakrishnan was an Anglophile and declared holiday at the death of Mountbatten rather than that of Jaya Prakash Narayan which surprised
us. One tragic fact of his life was that he had a child who was mentally
challenged and we always cherish Sri Rama Krishnan's memory as one who spoke excellently and didn’t
mind coming to functions in his Tennis attire. Time and tide wait for none and
on the last day of taking my TC on the last day of my examination, I felt a bit
dejected and disturbed while coming back to hostel after giving send off to
some of my friends.
***
Silver jubilee college was
established to promote academic excellence in
1972 to commemorate twenty fifth anniversary of Indian independence.
Although students excelled in academics career
counseling was weak and as a
consequence, many meritorious students also remained in the backwaters. There
is also the other side of the coin. Being competitive many entered civil
service and made their mark in their respective fields. Sri IV Krishna Rao, the
former chief secretary of Andhra, Venkateswara Rao joined civil
service. I didn’t know much about
first person individually although his
two brothers Srikar and Jayakar were our playmates and their family lived for a
while in a street called Mayabazar
in Kandukur, Prakasam district . About Venkateswara Rao I came to know in newspapers that he died in Afghanistan in the car bomb blast by the terrorists . Sri Venkateswara Rao had been my junior and nurtured the goal of
becoming an IAS officer from his first
year of graduation. Notwithstanding the
ridicule by others, he worked hard and realized his cherished goal by joining the IFS and his sudden death came
as a shock when I read about in a newspaper. We also were members of a team
which won the second prize in a quiz competition held in the college. It’s
really painful when we think of sudden exit of those promising people who would have done much more service to the nation. As a
Telugu proverb goes, “No one knows the arrival of rains or loss
of life.”
Once I had a dream in which I found myself
walking on a lonely road in the night
and I couldn’t identify the
place. Later I realized that it was a road leading to my hostel and the
subconscious impression came forth after decades. After this dream, it so
happened that I could visit Kurnool at the invitation of my friend Sarat Babu as an alumnus of the college and a member of Board of Studies.
A second time also the same thing
happened and I went to visit Sarat who met with a serious accident and was
recuperating and I could visit my alma
mater second time. The dreams still haunt me and even in dreams I struggle hard
to identify the corridors or hostels in which I spent the most in impressionable years of my
life. I write all these things to derive home my point that the memories of
Silver Jubilee college are permanently etched on the minds of it students. I
earnestly wish that it would revive its glory in future in spite of
globalization and the consequent negligence of the government colleges by the government. I believe it still attracts the meritorious
students who are without means but full of energy to excel in their studies. It
remains a vague dream but like a russet
sky on an evening when one of my seniors asked me to utter a poem and I couldn’t
do so to my satisfaction. It was also the place where I watched Sri Sri giving
a wonderful speech for forty five minutes enthralling the entire student
community.
***
People
all over the world celebrate the
arrival of new year in an exuberant mood. Do they also celebrate their memories
of the yester years? We are often
partial towards our future and experience a sort of fatigue when we
commemorate the bygone years.
When
Sri Sri spoke in our college, singing in his own voice in celebration of
revolutionaries and exhorted the youth
not to accept a ban on a film ‘Red jasmine’ ( Erra Malleleu) his words struck a chord in my heart. I believe that
all the other students might also have been exhilarated to an extent or other by watching
him in person and listening to his inspiring words.
I also met one short story writer and
translator Ramachandra Murthy at the behest of my friend Sarat babu and another poet Pemmaraju who came to our hostel and talked
about poetry and introduced Gaddar’s song to some of us. Now I can appreciate
some of these people who took pains to
come to our hostel all the way with a genuine interest in discussing
literature and introduced new names and opened new vistas.
We
also had such a good library there in Silver jubilee college where we were allowed free access to
books arranged on racks carefully and
the bookcases were lined up suggesting abundance for students starving
for reading material. Many students used to take enormous pleasure in reading
fiction and nonfiction, Writers like Huxley, Russell, Irving Wallace. Mulk Raj Anand, Narayan, Freud, Erik Berne and many others were read with passion by students who brought equal passion to bear on languages and core subjects.
There
used to be journals like CSR, Times , Newsweek, India Today which helped quench the thirst for the awareness of the current affairs and broaden mental
horizons of the students. Cricket was also another passion as it is now and a
game in which people of all sporting
calibers indulged in. Annual and sports
functions were held and used to generate a
lot of enthusiasm. On the hostel day, while all the students were
feasting, some destitute children with
unkempt hair, and black bodies used to wait the
gates of the hostel. We were unmindful of their but now the very
image comes to me
vividly causing some pain and shame-- how
we could go on with revelry while they had probably been starving and awaiting to be given some food.
Another
image that comes to my mind was that one day I was coming back to hostel after
watching a film in a theatre. At that time Ramizabi case in which a woman
had been raped by the police and her husband died due to police beatings in the
custody in Hyderabad hit the headlines.
While I had been returning a I saw a
woman in rickshaw and two policemen
inquiring the rickshaw puller and her harshly and asking them to come to the
police station. Soon a crowd gathered
and one or two young men began questioning the motives of the police who had to
retreat in the end muttering some curses under their breath. This image made me
realize the vulnerability of woman and some negativity towards the police.
***
We
used to have one lecturer with phenomenal memory who taught us mercantile law. He used to give
lengthy sentences in legal parlance and on seeing students’ faces, “Didn’t
understand? Emappa” and repeated all
sentences with an equal gusto.
Another
teacher Prayaga Rao who taught us accountancy was very cordial and polite with
the students. Every day he used to solve two problems on the board. Though we
learnt practically, we couldn’t get hold of fundamentals. But still we liked
his teaching.
Viswnatham
who taught us Commercial geography was a bit nervous but he taught seriously
and sincerely in spite of some of our friend’s playing pranks with him. One day
we had a discussion regarding number of
our assignments and grumbled among themselves. When Viswanadham Sir came into the
class room, seeking an opportunity
I rose and expressed how ‘herculean’ to do so many assignments. He didn’t agree with us but more surprising
thing had been that no friend of mine supported what I said. I felt that I shouldn’t have spoken out.
It’s
difficult to understand how teachers make or unmake our educational development
and career and the very trajectory our lives
follow. You have the good
fortune of having been a taught
by a teacher who inspires you through their lectures, personality
and individual concern.
If I
haven’t been good at maths, the credit goes to my maths teacher at school who taught us at
school. Perhaps I was also not cut out
for learning mathematics. The same
weakness continued with regard to accountancy course which I had to take while
in Intermediate and later in my degree course.
In
Silver Jubilee Govt. college the majority of teachers had
been very much committed to their profession. The really gave their best in developing the thinking skills of the
students, thanks to the then principal Rama Krishnan. One day he brought to our
class three lecturers from political Science
department-Sri Seshagiri Rao , Sri Rahman, and a lecturer history Sri koti Reddy. who gave
us a bird eye view of The history of the world since the first world war to
the present. Ina span of sixty minutes
they gave us an impressive panorama of world history. This simple gesture gave
us a historical perspective which put us in touch with complex world. I express my
thanks to Sri Ramakrishnan for introducing and developing our interest
in Shakespeare whose plays Julius
Caesar and Othello made
long lasting impression on our minds.
Later on I went on reading many plays of Shakespeare not withstanding
turning away from him during the phase
of political impact on my mind.
Seshagiri
rao once spoke on the emergence and role
of the UNO and in that contest he said, “it is not the failure of the
League of the nations but nations of the
League” and the language impressed me a lot and remained unforgettable. Sri
Koti Reddy had also been a colleague of my father earlier and in my third year
I spoke very angrily on the occasion of hostel day criticizing the then
principal’s action partially out of genuine anger and partially
encouraged by the claps by the students among the audience who appreciated my boldness. Immediately after
the meeting Koti Reddy came and said , “ I know your father. He was very soft .
How could you speak so angrily?” I think
I had not said anything in reply.
In
another incident I remember that Sri Appajodu Venkata Subbaiah, another
colleague of my father invited me for
lunch as a strike by students had been going on and the mess remained closed.
He also encouraged me a lot by publishing one of my poems in the college magazine which my boosted my confidence.
Small gestures, but great turning points invisibly but surely.
